I received a letter in the mail from a friend of mine just when I moved to Louisiana. I've kept it close to me ever since we've moved.
The Lord is my pace setter…I shall not rush
He makes me stop for quiet intervals
He provides me with images of stillness which restore my serenity
He leads me in the way of efficiency through calmness of mind and his guidance is peace
Even though I have a great many things to accomplish each day, I will not fret, for his presence is here
His timelessness, his all importance will keep me in balance
He prepares refreshment and renewal in the midst of my activity by anointing my mind with his oils of tranquility
My cup of joyous energy overflows
Truly harmony and effectiveness shall be the fruits of my hours for I shall walk in the Pace of my Lord and dwell in his house for ever.
Before we knew we were moving, I was preparing dinner one evening for some good friends. As I've done a gazillion times, I jumped up on top of my kitchen barstool to find a spice to add to our meal. As I was leaning hard to the right, I felt the barstool lean and begin to slip out from under me. As it did, I jumped back and tried to land with all my weight on my left leg (In '96 I had my right knee reconstructed and it's never been the same since). When I landed on my left leg, I ended up fracturing my tibia, tearing my ACL and meniscus. Talk about perfect timing!
As soon as we moved to La, I found a wonderful surgeon to repair my leg. I had my left knee reconstructed on July 2 and I've been in the process of healing. I've been relying completely on my family the last 3 weeks to drive me to doctor appointments, take Luke to his summer fun program, feed and bath the kids, take me to therapy, etc. But, with out them, I'm not sure what we would have done. It's strange how things just work out.
I just started driving this week. That's been nice to get out of the house alone, but for someone whose usually on the go and attending playdates frequently all over Dallas, it's been an adjustment. A MAJOR adjustment. I haven't had a pity party, but when we first moved, I was in denial. Long ago, my Mama and I planned that we would come down to visit for a week in June. When we were first here, it felt like vacation. But, as the weeks grew on and we didn't go back to our home in McKinney, I began to feel a little down. I had to pull out my little note that is listed above to keep reminding myself..."The Lord is my pacesetter, I shall not rush: He makes me stop for quiet intervals."
Looks like I'll need that note a little longer, Luke will have his tonsils/adenoids out and in a few weeks. Caroline will have tubes/adenoids as well. But, towards the end of the summer, I just recently found out I will have a hysterectomy. When I was pregnant with Caroline, my OBGYN thought I was further along than we thought. She ordered a sonogram and we found out that I had a fibroid tumor located just behind my uterus. The only way to remove it is with a hysterectomy. The news hit hard and I was devastated. Jon and I had decided a long time ago, that we were at our limit with two children, but it was always fun to think about what a third child may be like. Would they look like me or him, would they have his personality or mine? What would we have?? I've come to accept it, but with lots of prayer.
There have been very stressful times in my life, but for some reason, this has not been one of them. There's something about having someone to share this all with and knowing that they'll be there for you and with you through it all. I thank GOD for Jon, my children, family and friends every night. This is one HUGE roller coaster, but it's happening and we're just along for the ride.